Finally realized

It sad to say that I just realized who among my friends I really want to be around. Too late I know..but we human always learn the lesson "After".

I didn't learn the hard way at all. It was a regular nice day where I went back home and a bulb lighten up in my head.

I realized that day that I went back home happy, relaxed, and in peace. I tried to figure out why and realized , it was them!

I don't feel bad with them..

I don't feel like an underdog..

I wasn't humiliated..

I didn't have to kill myself trying to explain myself.

I was truly me..and that's because of them!

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Why?

So many things I want..but I'm doing nothing to get them.

It has always been like that. I would tell myself that sooner or later you will have it so don't bother yourself..
.. But things don't work this way

That's probably why, I'm usually way behind..




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Dear me,
I Havant written anything for a while but nothing has changed.

I'm still stupid.







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My Future half..

Who are you?
How will you be?
What future do I have with you?
How will you treat me?


Will you deserve me?
Will I deserve you?

Are we stronge enough?
Wre we smart enough?
.
.
.
Can we make it?






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Guilt of weakness.

When you are weak, you surrender to the devil.

When you are weak, you can't control your emotions.

When you are weak, you can't hold your secrets anymore.

When you are weak, you fall for the wrong person.

When you are weak, you harm yourself and slowly destroy it.

I'm guilty of committing weakness.. And the guilt is my punishment.

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Is this the beginning ?

I need someone who I can trust to answer. Why is it wrong?

I search for it and all the answers were that it could lead to a serious problem. I'm not convinced especially that it is superficial and can barely stay for more than a day.

They try to convince me that I should stop because life is not that bad. Well, life isn't bad, but I am.

I've only done it twice though and I hope I won't need it again. But till then, I hope someone will convince me.

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